Human Wings
by Shinobi Saru Corp
Summary: Dreams, honor, pride; they don't mean a whole lot when you're not human. Angeal's train of thought throughout Crisis Core.


**Written by Ryuu** because no one gives Angeal enough credit, myself included.

* * *

><p><strong>Human Wings<strong>

Why?

I don't get it.

He's so angry. Well, he's always been angry; angry at his parents, angry at everyone who ever sneered at him, angry at Sephiroth for being more famous than him. But why is he angry now?

He got into another fight with Sephiroth. Will this stupid rivalry ever end? Those two don't seem to realize that even I have limited patience. And he managed to hurt himself, too. He got carried away and used materia, I tried to warn him.

He wasn't healing like he should have, and I don't know why. I even donated some of my own blood. I've never heard of a SOLDIER unable to heal like that. He tries to hide it, but I see him wince every time he moves.

* * *

><p>Goddess, he's done it now. He actually left.<p>

So now he's angry with ShinRa, I suppose. Why? Does he believe that they're really that evil? That _we're_ really that evil? And does that even justify abandoning every oath of loyalty he ever swore?

Now ShinRa is hunting him down. I don't know what to do. Goddess, I don't know what to do! He's my best friend, and somehow he managed to make himself into my enemy. I suppose he was always a bit hotheaded, but this just takes the cake. If I find him, first thing I'm going to do is punch him in the face. I don't know what I'll do after that, but I will certainly start with punching him.

Well, maybe I won't. He may not be able to heal a broken nose anymore.

* * *

><p>He has declared war on ShinRa. I don't know what to do. Goddess help me.<p>

Honor. Dreams. Pride.

No, pride is what caused this mess in the first place. I suppose I'll have to amend my usual speech somewhat.

But honor and dreams. Has he really given that up? All of it? He was such an enthusiastic guy, bragging about how he would make general in record time and defeat Sephiroth, and then quote _LOVELESS_ over the prostrate form of the kowtowing Silver General. Ha, he was always an idiot.

At least I've got Zack.

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><p>What do I do? He wants me to join him. To join him on this idiotic quest to take down ShinRa. He thinks that ShinRa has brainwashed me into subservience.<p>

Gaia, I swear I am going to pound his head into a wall as soon as I find him!

Really, man, I'm so flattered. Brainwashed into subservience my foot. I'm glad you think so well of me, and hold my intelligence and individuality in such high esteem.

He doesn't see that it's about honor.

…but…

Which is more important? My honor as a SOLDIER, or my honor as a friend? The oaths I swore, or the love of a friend? Even if that friend is a complete moron.

Well, I can't leave Zack, anyway. Poor kid would be so heartbroken.

He spends all of his time so angry. He never thinks that maybe I'm angry, too, at _him_.

* * *

><p>I think that I'll go to him. I'll find him, regain his trust. First I'll punch his stupid face, then I'll hug him, and then I'll drag him back by his stupid hair.<p>

Will ShinRa take him back?

If he's right about ShinRa, they won't. They'll kill him.

What am I saying? Of course he isn't right.

But what if he is?

I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I'm sorry, Zack. But I think you'll be able to do without me. Never forget your dreams, and your honor. Please.

* * *

><p>I'm a monster. A monster. I've got wings, now.<p>

My mother killed herself. I don't know what to do.

He was right about ShinRa. He was right. Lazard himself is funding Hollander. _Funding Hollander!_ Hollander is the one who started this mess in the first place!

I don't know what to do.

I haven't even punched him yet.

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><p>They're the wings of a monster, and as a monster I have no honor. No dreams. I'm not a SOLDIER anymore, I'm not even human.<p>

Sorry, Zack. Thank you, though. You called me an angel. You always were hopeless at comforting people. I don't want to be an angel, I want to be human.

So. World domination and revenge. Those are the only things a monster can desire, right?

I hope I didn't hurt you, Zack. Nah, you're tough, you can handle a fall like that just fine.

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><p>Goddess, it's hard holding him back. Hotheaded idiot.<p>

You'll have to take him down at some point, Zack. I don't think I can bring myself to. Goddess, I'm a coward.

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><p>Hollander wants me to "take revenge". Revenge for <em>what<em>? My father's dead. He suggested I take revenge for my mother.

She killed herself out of shame. Shame of what she had done. There is no one to blame but her, no one to take revenge on.

Hollander keeps calling me "perfect". The perfect experiment.

Ha. Perfect monster, more like.

And he is nothing but a failure, to Hollander. Hollander won't stop saying that.

I want to smash Hollander's skull in. Goodness, what a monstrous desire.

Maybe Zack will be able to take me down.

* * *

><p>Thank you, Zack. You're amazing, you really are, more so than you will ever realize. You taught me that humanity is a choice, not a species.<p>

I kinda wish I had known that sooner.

Protect your honor, always. Not your honor as a SOLDIER, even though that's what I've been pounding into your head all this time; ShinRa will betray you. Your honor as a human being.

Be careful. Now that I am part of the Life Stream, I can feel that a calamity is about to strike. I can't help you anymore. I'm sorry.

I never did get around to punching him.

I don't have the right to ask you this, but please; please find him. Teach him what you taught me. Please.

He's my best friend.

Even if he _is_ an absolute moron.

* * *

><p>I found a way to help you, Zack. Maybe this whole Copy thing does have its uses.<p>

Your girlfriend's cute. She seems real sweet, and kind. I'm glad. You'll be happy with her.

* * *

><p>Oh Goddess. What has Sephiroth <em>done?<em> I didn't realize that he depended on us so much. I'm sorry, Sephiroth. I never thought of you when I forced Zack to kill me. I never thought of you being left alone.

I'm sorry, Nibelheim. It's all my fault, isn't it?

I'm sorry, Zack. Now Hojo has you. That man is even more twisted than I had ever thought.

How did that cadet defeat Sephiroth?

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><p>Zack! <em>Zack!<em>

You call yourself a SOLDIER? You tarnish the SOLDIER name, trapped in a mako tank like that. I've been shouting at you for four years. When will you hear me?

Oh.

You've broken out. Good.

I guess you heard me.

It's about time, I was getting bored. At least I don't have a throat to wear out anymore.

Please find him. Sephiroth's gone, I'm gone. I don't know what will happen to him, now. And protect that little cadet. He never did anything to deserve all of this.

And Zack…you don't want these wings. Really. They're annoying.

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><p>Thank you, Zack.<p>

You found him, defeated him, taught him to be human again. Despite all his idiotic stubbornness, you saved him.

Zack, you're amazing.

I wish that I could hug you right now.

I'm just so glad he's safe. Y'know, Zack, for a little while I hated his guts. But now I see that he just wanted the same thing I wanted. I couldn't understand that until now because he insisted on expressing it through that stupid poem.

I miss you two. I miss Sephiroth. I can't seem to reach him in the Life Stream. I don't know why.

Goddess, I'm so glad he's safe!

* * *

><p>Zack…I'm sorry.<p>

You did good. You did so good. You did so much better than me. I essentially committed suicide. Worse, I made _you_ kill me. I can't even imagine how that must have felt. I'm so sorry, I was so selfish.

But you…

You were experimented on. But you didn't give up. You didn't give up your dreams or your honor. You protected that little cadet until the end. And you died smiling.

Hello, old friend. Welcome to the Life Stream. I'm sorry that this happened to you, but…

…I'm glad I can hug you again.

As soon as Genesis gets here, you hold him and I'll punch, alright?


End file.
